How to Write Personalised Wedding Vows
Alright, writing your own wedding vows can feel kind of nerve-wracking. But honestly? It’s one of the best chances you’ve got to tell your partner how much they mean to you, in your words. So let’s make it real, make it you, and make it memorable.
Amy and Brandon exchanging vows at Brookleigh Estate, Swan Valley
Why Personalised Vows Matter
They feel real. While the premade stuff is pretty, it often misses the weird little things that make you and them special.
Connection. When you share personal bits—memories, inside jokes, small promises—it draws everyone in: you, your partner, your friends, family.
Feels more meaningful. Years later, you won’t remember the generic lines. You’ll remember your words, your voice, your promises.
Lou and Keelan’s Wedding in the Swan Valley
Steps to Crafting Your Vows
Here’s a step-by-step framework to help you write vows that are heartfelt and balanced.
1. Reflect on your journey
Think back on how you met, the moments you knew "this is it," challenges you've overcome, what you admire in them. Write freely — brainstorm without worrying about perfect phrasing.
2. Decide on tone & style
Do you want your vows to be romantic, traditional, funny/light, poetic, or a blend? Discuss with your partner to ensure you’re aligned on tone and length.
3. Structure your vows
A loose outline helps. Something like:
- Opening / greeting
- What you love and appreciate about them
- Meaningful stories or shared moments
- Personal promises for the future
- Closing statement – your commitment or vision together
4. Make promises that matter
Don’t worry about grand gestures only — choose commitments grounded in your everyday life. Mix serious with light-hearted ones. Avoid making unrealistic absolutes like “always” or “never.”
5. Keep them appropriately sized
Vows should generally be about 1-2 minutes when spoken (~150-250 words). Enough to feel meaningful, not so long that people (including you) lose the thread.
6. Revise & polish
Once you’ve got a first draft, let it sit. Then revise for clarity, flow, emotional impact. Read out loud, perhaps in front of someone you trust.
7. Delivery matters
Practice ahead of time. Decide if you’ll read or memorise. Use clean paper or vow books. Speak slowly, make eye contact. It’s okay to show emotion.
What to Include — Key Elements
To help you fill out that structure, here are things to consider including:
An opening that addresses your partner: Use their name or a special nickname; speak directly.
Gratitude & admiration: Specific things you appreciate about them — their patience, humour, compassion, etc.
Stories or anecdotes: A moment that illustrates who they are in your life. Maybe the time they surprised you, or supported you, or a funny mishap that now is a fond memory.
Promises: Cover the broad (love, support, loyalty) but also the everyday (listening when you need, making you laugh, sharing chores, being your confidant).
Vision for the future: What you look forward to building together — home, adventures, family, shared dreams.
Closing declaration: Perhaps a “I choose you today and always,” or “this is my solemn vow.” Something that seals the promise.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Over-promising / using absolutes like “never” or “always.” These can feel poetic, but life rarely works in absolutes.
Trying to use language that isn’t “you.” If you’re not naturally poetic, forcing flowery metaphors can feel false. Authenticity always wins.
Going off rails with inside jokes that others won’t understand — good to be personal, but remember your audience.
Waiting until last minute. Then you’ll rush, stress, and maybe settle for something less meaningful. Give yourself time.
Examples of Personalised Vow Ideas
Here are some sample vow ideas (romantic, light, modern) to get your creative juices flowing:
Romantic & Heartfelt — “From our first coffee together, I knew there was something I’d been waiting for. I promise to be your shelter in storms, your laughter in quiet moments, and your unwavering partner in all of life’s adventures.”
Light & Humorous — “I vow to always let you pick the playlist, to never hide snacks from you, to try (really try) to tolerate your strange movie choices—even when I’ve already watched them ten times.”
Modern & Concise — “I promise to love you, respect you, challenge you, and support you. Today, I choose you, every day, as you are, as I am, forever.”
You can mix styles too: romantic with a dash of humour or poetic imagery balanced with everyday promises.
Final Tips for Saying the Vows
Print or neatly handwrite your final version — get a vow book or card you can hold steady. (Yep, I’ll print this out for you so you’ve got something physical in your hand.)
Practice out loud a few times — in front of a mirror or a friend. You’ll get your pacing, feel where you might choke up or stumble, sort out breathing.
Decide if you’ll memorise or read. Seriously, reading is totally fine. If it helps you stay calm, go for it.
Just before you start: take a deep breath. Look up. Let the moment land. You and your partner, everyone you love — they’re all there listening. Make that pause count.
Closing Thoughts
Making your vows personal isn’t just another thing on the wedding to-do list. It’s your chance to say what “love” and “promise” really mean for you. When you speak from the heart — messy, imperfect, raw — that’s what makes it shine.
So take your time. Be exactly who you are. Speak your truth. And above everything, remember: those words you say are a gift — to your partner, to your life together, and to all the memories you’ll carry long after the day is over.
30+ Vow Prompts & Starter Lines
“From the moment I first met you, I knew…”
“You are my best friend, my partner, and my greatest adventure, and I promise…”
“I vow to support your dreams, even if they take you far away…”
“I promise to laugh with you when life is joyful, and to hold you when it’s hard…”
“As we grow together, I promise to always…”
“You make me feel alive, complete, and understood, and I vow…”
“I promise to love you at your best and at your worst…”
“When you need strength, I will be your support; when you need rest, I will be your peace…”
“Though life may challenge us, I choose you, every day, as my partner…”
“I will always listen, even when it’s difficult, and speak with kindness…”
“I promise to build a home with you — not just a house, but a place where love, respect, and laughter live…”
“I vow to cherish your quirks, celebrate your victories, and comfort you in your failures…”
“I promise to grow with you, learn with you, and build with you a future that holds our dreams…”
“I will walk beside you through all seasons of life — the calm and the storm…”
“With you, I have found my home, and I vow to be yours…”
“I promise to be honest, faithful, and true, even when the days are ordinary…”
“I will try to speak love in your love language, to see you, really see you…”
“As your partner, I will protect your heart, encourage your growth, and value your peace…”
“I vow to be your confidant, your champion, and your comfort…”
“I promise to never stop exploring the little moments that make us, us…”
“I will share in your joys, carry in your burdens, and rejoice in your triumphs…”
“When the world pulls us apart, I will pull you closer…”
“I promise to keep trying — even when things are hard — because loving you is worth every effort…”
“I vow to remember that love is a choice — and today I choose you…”
“I promise to make you laugh, especially when you want to cry…”
“In your eyes I see our possible future, and I vow to work toward that every single day…”
“I will respect your individuality, your past, your hopes, your fears, and all that you are…”
“I promise to be present with you — in the everyday, the ordinary, the really small stuff…”
“I vow to be your safe place, your shelter, your home, wherever life may lead us…”
“You have shown me more love than I ever thought possible; I vow to show you that same love back…”
“I will honor your family, your friends, your values — because they shaped you, and I love who you are…”
“Even when I disagree, I promise to listen, respect, and seek understanding…”
“I vow to never take our love for granted, and to celebrate it in the little things every day…”
“I promise to hold you when sorrow comes, and to dance with you when joy arrives…”
“Today, I give you my heart, my loyalty, and my promise to walk by your side…”